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School shite

Even though I haven't been talking about it much lately, I'm still trying to work on school...still the GED stuffs. I should have long since been finished by now, but keep having setbacks and scheduling issues, and losing momentum. I made another attempt to take the writing pretest yesterday. I say another because I got frustrated and walked out halfway through on my first attempt. I got through the first half of the test with no problems at all both times(easy stuff...sentence structure, grammar, etc), but its the last part of it, an essay, that screws me. I'm a writer...at least I used to be. It makes no fucking sense as to why I cannot seem to put together a simple essay. Sure, both of the topics that have been thrown at me have been......let's say lacking, but I should be able to pull something together. Its not that I don't know how to write an essay. Its my mind, and the oppressive silence of the room that seems to have a hand in screwing me. Silence has never been a good thing for me, it makes me crazy because I can hear every little thought that runs through my head and its way too distracting. When I do get a lead on something to write, I just end up thinking myself in circles and getting frustrated and overwhelmed.

Thankfully, the teacher is a really nice and patient guy, who really seems to want to see me get through this. He sat with me for at least half an hour (probably more) going over possible ideas for me to write about. I'm really thankful he has been so willing to work with me. I've only seen a few teachers who really seemed to care about their students...I'm glad I found one of them for this.

At this point, I'm really afraid of passing this thing. Yes, the goal is to score high enough on it so that I can take the official version, but I'm really afraid I'll have a repeat of the pretests. If it does happen, I can't keep rescheduling and have the option of coming up with the essay at home. Arg I hate being so conflicted!!! I want to pass these tests. I'm tired of working on it and I would like to take other classes.